What Kind of Mother Are You?

I am doing a mom-to-mom Bible study this fall, and Monday's lesson hit me over the head like a ton of bricks. The title was "What Kind of Mother Are You?"

Um, convicted.

And, not in the felon kind of way.

In case you were wondering.

The focus was on Great Expectations - the ones we have for us, our culture has for us, our family has for us. But, importantly, what are God's expectations for us?

After last week, and the horrible feeling that my sons birthday party was not going to be perfect, and the pressure I put on myself - I really needed this. And, it has caused me to think.

Apparently, there is such a thing as the "Everything" Mom. And, apparently, attempting to do it all is gonna do you in.

Then there's the WWPT - what will people think? UGH! What a struggle. And, this can be real or imagined, but most of the time, it's all imagined in this make believe little head of mine to the point of me feeling failure.

Then, there is the chatter within:
"she's a better mom than me"
"it's never good enough"
"get your act together"

Then came the slapping upside the head- the What is God's Call to Me?
4 P's - provide, protect, prepare, and pass it on

Provide - love em and feed em
Protect - from outer harm and inner harm
Prepare - teaching God's ways
*Deut. 6:4-7 "Hear, O Aleesa: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (emphasis and change of names is all me)
*Eph. 6:4 "Aleesa, do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (again, my name is not really in the word there, but it sounds good to me)
Pass It On - leaving a legacy
*Psalm 22:30-31 "Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn - for he has done it."

There are some other really great verses that I would be happy to share. If you want them, send me an email.

But, then there is the Too Much trap!
Provide - being the spoiler mom
*When we spoil too much kids get a distorted view of things and tend to have a sense of entitlement.
Protect - but too much, then you smother
*Letting them become independent - raising strong kids in a Grace-based environment
Prepare - too much, too soon; the Mama Einstein syndrome
*expecting the child to read before leaving the crib
*I thought I saw this when both the boys were pre-K, but I think I see it even more now that one is in school. It's the comparing and competition that mothers pit there kids against others. Not healthy.
Pass It On - cramming it down preacher style
*the Holy Spirit has His job, and we have ours

So, I came out thinking and praying about:

What legacy am I leaving for my boys?
What memories am I making with them?

And, I loved this:

~I am called to mother the children God gave me, and I don't have to do it alone.~

So, looking back, I think about the expectations I put on myself, the expectations I felt others had for me, and the anxiety of trying to do it all. And, none of it matters. Not really. I am called to assist God in the four P's and love my boys into the men God calls them to be, and everything else is small potatoes.

I know this is all over the place, and maybe it makes little sense, but it seems so relevant and real to me. And, it's my blog.

I leave you with one last verse:

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." 2 Cor. 4:7-9 (emphasis mine)